Yes, having children do change the nature of marriage, your love is shared with more people. But more people to love doesn’t mean less love to give. Love grows when given more.


Every person on this earth faces certain afflictions and tribulations in his life and there is no eye which hasn’t cried. But the reason behind each drop of tear is different and in one or the other moment in life one cannot help but question the purpose behind this pain, which causes us to go into a state of frustration and restlessness. We start questioning – Why me? Is the Lord Almighty displeased with me? Is it a punishment for something evil which I have done? Or is it a test?
How can one distinguish between a trial and a punishment? To bring a believer back towards the path of Islam, Allah tests him or her to reaffirm one’s faith. In order to assess one’s dedication to Islam, Allah puts the believer in various difficult situations. Submitting to the Almighty’s divine will, these trials become a means to strengthen our faith in the Almighty.
When any calamity strikes or something bad happens to you in your life and you are not in a position to determine whether it is a trial or a punishment from your Lord, only the condition of your heart can determine whether it’s a trial or a punishment.
If anything negative happens to you in your life, just seek the forgiveness of the Almighty. If this calamity or something negative which occurred in your life distances you from your Creator, then it’s surely a punishment and if it brings you closer to your Lord, then this is a blessing in disguise.
Allah tests you not only with trials, He sometimes tests you with blessings also. Allah also tests by giving the believer wealth, children, status etc. Misfortune can be a trial aimed at raising a person’s status or increasing his hasanaath (good deeds/ rewards) or misfortune may be a punishment to atone for sins. This can be determined by one’s behaviour, whether he is obedient or not to his Almighty.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “The extent of the reward will be in accordance with the extent of the trial. If Allah loves a person, he tests him.”
Allah says, “Whatever misfortune befalls you is a consequence of your own deeds. But much of it He forgives.”

    Ash-Shura (42:30)
    We will be punished as per our deeds, but in the same way Allah doesn’t punish us for all the evil deeds here itself. According to the interpretation of the verse from

    Surah Fatir (35:45) (35:45) If Allah were to take people to task for their deeds, He would not leave any living creature on earth, but He grants them respite to an appointed time. When their appointed time comes to an end, surely Allah fully observes His servants.”

    For a believer, it is a part of his faith to believe that all good and evil is from Allah.

    Allah says, “Whatever of good reaches you, is from Allah, but whatever of evil befalls you, is from yourself..” Surah Nisa (4:49).

    A person should always criticize himself for all his shortcomings and always strive to attain perfection.
    The Prophet (PBUH) said, “Allah tests his servants to increase their reward and also elevates their ranks in paradise.”

    Surah Al Baqarah (2:155)

    Remaining patient during times of adversity and being content with the destiny of Allah and showing gratitude during times of prosperity is the clear sign of a believer.
    The period of trial for a believer is a season for earning more rewards. In every situation and phase of life, where adversity strikes and you feel low, remember that,
    “What you think is bad for you is actually good for you “ Al Nisa (4:19).

    Allah’s wisdom and mercy lies behind every trial.

    How amazing are the words of Allah! How close we get to Allah’s mercy during these times of affliction!
    When we pass through these tough times, our duas are being accepted.

    Prophet PBUH said, “Whenever a Muslim goes through difficulties, he recites – “Inna lillaahi wa inna ilaihi raajioon (We surely belong to Allah and it is to Him we return).”

    The two faces of trials are that one repents to Allah for his sins and other is he repents and gets closer to Allah and this period of trial is precious that Allah’s mercy is with you in these times. All the great people of the Ummah who faced tough trials in their lives are an example to the believers.
    Imam Malik R.A passed through such a trial when he was dragged by the oppressors along the streets of Madinah.
    Imam Ahmed bin Hanbal, Bilal RA, Khubaib RA, Fatima RA, Sumayya RA and many more in Islamic history are remembered – their lives were filled with trials yet, they are the ones who are promised to be the highest rankers in the paradise.
    The Prophet PBUH said,

    “Allah takes immediate retribution from people whom he loves”.

    So let us not lose hope at times of trials and let us utilize this period and yearn for reward from Allah in the afterlife.

    “Allah says, “Perhaps you hate a thing, and It is good for you; perhaps you love a thing, and it is bad for you, and Allah knows, while you know not.”

    Remember, a test can sometimes replace a worse misfortune. It helps us to strengthen our faith. Tests help us to become aware of ourselves, our sins, our weaknesses, and help us to rectify those aspects of our character and help us to be more focused and proactive.

    When something bad happens to you, you have three choices…
    “You can either let it define you, let it destroy you or let it strengthen you”
    Remember, if you focus on the hurt, you will continue to suffer…but if you focus on the lesson you will continue to grow…


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