Challenges Faced by the Youth: Solutions (Part II)
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Category : FAMILY
Author : Madiha Javed
This means both parents must understand their children are a trust from Allah, and He will ask how they were raised. If the children do not grow up practicing Islam because of their parents’ negligence, it is not going to be pretty in this life or the next.
What Parents Can Do To Help Their Children:

Take parenting more seriously than a full-time job

This means both parents must understand their children are a trust from Allah, and He will ask how they were raised. If the children do not grow up practicing Islam because of their parents’ negligence, it is not going to be pretty in this life or the next.

Reduce or change work hours and exchange them for time with the family

It is better to have one full-time job, fewer luxuries in the house and more time with the family, than many material things and absent parents. This goes for mothers as well as fathers. Parents can’t instil values in their children if they just aren’t there. Quit that extra job on the weekends or in the evenings and instead drive the kids to the mosque for Halaqas and activities instead. Or consider switching shifts at work so that you’re home when the kids are.

Read the Quran, understanding its meaning, for five minutes every day
Just five minutes. Whether it’s in the c

Just five minutes. Whether it’s in the car during a traffic jam, early morning after Fajr, or right before you go to bed, read the Quran with a translation and Tafseer. Then watch the snowball effect.
You will, In Sha’Allah, reconnect with Allah, and in the long run, develop into a role model, helping your whole family, not just your youth, reconnect with Him too.

Attend a weekly Halaqa

Trade playing cards or watching television on Sunday afternoons for a Halaqa. If you don’t have something already in place during that time slot, help the Imam to set one up. Attend it vigilantly. The added bonus of this is that when children see their parents striving to learn about Islam, they will in many cases be encouraged to do the same.

Respect your youth

Respecting your youth means not treating them like inept babies, but like maturing adults, not talking down to them or humiliating and insulting them. It means involving them in useful activities around the home and seeking their opinions on matters of importance.

Take an interest in what they do

Parents can play a vital role in helping teens succeed in school by being informed and lending a little support and guidance. Even though teens are seeking independence, parental involvement is an important ingredient for their success in this life and in the Hereafter.

Be aware of problems and address them straightforwardly

As you spend more time with your teen, you will be able to sense if there is something bothering them. Don’t brush this feeling under the carpet. Address it head on. But don’t do this in the family meeting or in front of others.

Don’t just be your teen’s parent, be his or her partner

Making them a partner means giving them responsibilities within the family. This way, teens will feel a part of the family, included and needed.

Build a Masjid in your home

Delegate a room, part of the basement or the living room as the home Masjid. Make this Masjid entirely the responsibility of the kids. Get the eldest to be in charge and to delegate responsibilities for younger siblings. Responsibilities include keeping the Masjid clean, waking people up for Fajr, calling the Adhan, etc.

Don’t practice “men’s Islam”

That means don’t exclude wives or daughters from prayers. When the men are praying in Jama’ah, make sure the women are either behind them or also praying in congregation. Make sure the Imam recites the prayer loud enough for the women to hear if they are in another part of the house. Also, encourage women to pray in Jama’ah

Establish an Islamic library and choose a librarian

Equip your home with an Islamic library with books and videos discussing various aspects of Islam, catering to everyone’s age and interests. Get one of your teens to be the librarian. She/he keeps materials organized and in good condition. Any requests for materials to be added to the collection have to go through him or her. Give this librarian a monthly budget for ordering new material.

Take them out….to Islamic activities

Instead of a fancy dinner at a restaurant, save your money to take everyone out to the next Muslim community dinner or activity. Make a special effort to go to events where other Muslim youth will be present and the speaker caters his/her message to this crowd.

Move to a racially and religiously mixed neighbourhood in your city

If your children can interact with Muslim as well as non-Muslim children on a daily basis, it is going to be healthier for their growth. May be a move closer to a masjid is going to help as well.

Help teens start their own youth group

After living in a Muslim neighbourhood and attending Islamic activities regularly, youths in many cases will develop a friendship with other Muslims of their age. Don’t let this end here. Help them establish a youth group, not just to learn about Islam, but to go to the amusement park together, go swimming, etc. Have meetings at members’ houses on a weekly or bimonthly basis. Get this group involved in useful work like cleaning up litter around the Masjid or visiting senior citizens’ homes. This group must have parental supervision, although teens’ decision-making powers should not be interfered with unless really necessary.


Establish a screen-free evening and monitor its consumption

Parents’ biggest competitor for their children’s attention is the T.V. Monitoring what everyone watches simply means taking care to remind and help everyone avoid shows which depict sex, violence and encourage unIslamic activities. Put up a list of acceptable and unacceptable shows on the wall beside the T.V.


Have weekly family meetings

The purpose is to find out what is going on in everyone’s lives and to consult the family on important issues. The point is not to just give the news in point form. It’s to elicit discussion and communication between everyone and to keep up-to-date about what is going on in everyone’s life, which gets harder when kids become teenagers. This is also the place to consult the family and decide on major issues affecting everyone: a move to another city; a marriage of one of the family members; difficulties with a bully in school, etc.


Have “Halal fun night” once a month

“Fun is Haram” is a joke sometimes heard amongst Muslim youth, mocking the attitude of some Muslims for whom virtually anything enjoyable is automatically labelled Haram.

Islamic entertainment is a much-neglected area of Muslim concern.
Islamic songs, skits, etc. are viable tools for the transmission of Islam. Make youths in charge of the halal events like poetry, drawing, sports activities, etc. Help them establish a criterion of acceptable and unacceptable Halal entertainment.


Provide the right role models-What would Abu Bakr have done?

Apart from being a role model yourself by trying to practice Islam, make sure you provide youth with reading material about Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) and his Companions (Sahaba), both the men and the women. Otherwise, the characters on the programs your kids watch on television may become their “Sahabas.”
Islamic entertainment is a much-neglected area of Muslim concern.
Islamic songs, skits, etc. are viable tools for the transmission of Islam. Make youths in charge of the halal events like poetry, drawing, sports activities, etc. Help them establish a criterion of acceptable and unacceptable Halal entertainment.

Discuss what a Companion may have done in a situation relevant to youths’ lives. What would Abu Bakr Siddiq Radiallahu anhu do if he saw someone selling answers to the grade 11 Mathematics final exam? What would Aisha Radiallahu anha have done if she was confronted with the opportunity to cheat her parents?


Get them married early

Most modern societies are permeated by sex: on TV, billboards, on the streets, on buses, in movies, Youtube, Facebook, etc. A Muslim youth facing this is in a tough position: succumb to the temptations or try really, really hard not to. Getting them married early will ease the pressure, and they don’t have to stop their studies to do this. Remember, as a parent, you will also be partly responsible if your son or daughter wanted to marry, you stopped them and they ended up having sex outside of marriage. You should also remember when undertaking this step not to force your son or daughter to marry someone they do not like.


Last but not least: Make Dua

Make Dua. It is really Allah who guides, but if you’ve done your job as a parent, In Sha Allah, keeping your youth a practising Muslim will be easier to do than if you had neglected this duty. As well, make Dua for your youth in front of them. This reminds them how much you love them and your concern for them.

1 Comment

  1. Siddiqui Naseem us Saher

    Congratulations to the author Madiha Javed…
    As u have addressed a topic for which not only the youth but also parents are much concerned.
    The Solutions given are very practical.
    I’ll try to introduce them to my family. Insha Allah
    Thanks A lot..
    May Allah increase your wisdom and abilities. Ameen♥️

    Reply

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