English translation of selected articles from “Assa’ada” written by Dr. Jasir Al Mutavva
Students, Al Jamia Al Islamiya, Santhapuram 2018-24 batch
Mistakes can lead to success and happiness. That is why our scholars said that, for the mistake done against God, a good deed can lead its owner to Hell, and a bad deed can lead its owner to Paradise.
Happiness has rules in it. If you can discover what it means, then you can be happy all through the journey of life. To be happy is the longing of every soul. It is sometimes enjoyed on your own or at times shared with others. Most people, when they commit mistakes, feel awful, gloomy and grieve. They then learn to benefit from their mistakes. Thereby, instead of making the person stressed, mistakes can evolve to be a reason for one’s happiness. It is an important skill that must be acquired.
The first effort you need to take when you commit a mistake is to see to yourself if it is a golden opportunity for you to course-correct because life is full of experiences. Life is a school from where a person learns something new every day. Hardship occurs at the time of committing a mistake, whereas it doesn’t last long, and continuous efforts will help to get over it.
Converting the feelings of misery into actions is my best way of approaching a committed mistake. Mistakes can be of three types:
i) Against oneself
ii) Against God
iii) Against the rights of people.
Mistakes can lead to success and happiness. That is why our scholars said that, for the mistake done against God, a good deed can lead its owner to Hell, and a bad deed can lead its owner to Paradise. If an individual performs a good deed while possessing arrogance and vanity, then that particular deed itself will serve as a reason for him to go to hell. And an evil deed done by one can serve as a reason to let him enter Paradise by repentance and returning to Allah Almighty.
But if the mistake is against oneself, being careful not to commit it again would be the most appropriate method. And if it is against the rights of people, seeking forgiveness from them and not repeating it will be the best way to deal with it.
The first method to gain happiness is to never allow yourself to be held captive by grief from committed mistakes and to never make your eyes infer it as the verge of your existence. Instead, try to make use of those mistakes by learning and correcting them.
The second method is to often spend your time with positive people who spread the essence of happiness, contentment and sanguinity in the minds of those who accompany them. They will love you, make you feel happy while chatting, and make sure that you are always the best. At the same time make sure you avoid all negative and cynical people so that they don’t make you feel miserable and desperate.
The third way is to get away from whoever thinks bitterly of you or accuses you without any evidence. They do not seek you to defend yourself. They suffer from a lack of confidence. So do not allow their suspicions or hatred to make an impact on you or your personality. Otherwise, you will be denied happiness.
As for the fourth method, live your present, past and future satisfactorily. The past is dwelled to benefit from it and to remember the beautiful memories you had. The future is to live with the dreams and aspirations that you expect to achieve, with a condition that they are all thoughts not real (as we can’t live in past). As for your present, enjoy it and accomplish what you missed in the past, and thus create a prosperous future.
The fifth method is to rejoice in what Allah Almighty has bestowed upon you. If you undervalue them, realize that Allah Almighty does not limit His offerings, it is your eyes that see them as limited. Allah offers a lot as He is the Most Generous one. Sometimes you may feel that Allah gave you limited money or children, then, assess all the blessings He granted and you will find that Allah provided you with many skills. If we attempt to count the blessings of Allah, we can’t stop counting them.
The sixth method to achieve happiness is to be satisfied with the blessings that happen to others. Envy, jealousy and hatred for others will only make you miserable and pathetic. Therefore whatever you adore for yourself, adore it for others too, so that you can live happily. If you are willing to compete with others, be it on the matters related to the Hereafter and not upon worldly matters, thereby you can live happily.
Prioritize. Organize. Schedule.
These are the important things to take care of in any circumstances in the case of effective time management. Same applies for a parent. The key to organization is knowing what a priority is and what can wait. Organizing anything and everything might take time initially, but trust me, once all is done, you will realize how much easier things can be done that way. Scheduling your daily routine is helpful for children as well as parents. Research shows that younger babies prefer sticking to schedules since they are at ease when they know what to expect next.
Also, never hesitate to seek help. No parent is super-perfect. Neither is any house. Since we all are social animals, we will need aid and assistance from our fellow people from time to time. Seek help and offer help when you can.
4. For expecting couples and new parents, what’s one advice you would have or something that they should prepare for beforehand?
Be well-read about what is to happen once you plan to step into parenthood. Know what all changes that can possibly happen for a couple – physical, mental, financial, etc. Prepare for yourself and the baby. As long as you are steadfast, things will fall into place, In Shaa Allah. Even if it doesn’t, you’ll know that it is only a test in this dunya and that this dunya is temporary. Parenthood isn’t something silly, for you are bringing a life into the world where you will be responsible for bringing them up in a good manner. Babies will thrive and strive in any environment, but not all will turn out to be ‘human beings’. That’s where parents’ roles and responsibilities come in play. Give children their rights and fulfil their need to be loved. After all, they came into this world because you chose to bring them here.