With an increased number of women using the platform of feminist organisations, many times not in its true sense, raising their voices in the name of feminism, the essence of empathy for women has been far lost. In the race to compete with men for equality, countless areas that require attention get deeply buried and ignored. Men now consider women as complainers filled with negativity attracted to the drama that comes with the complaining attitude. This has developed an assumption that women are very prone to all-black-or-white thinking, thereby distracting from the idea that there does exist a grey area that requires attention and empathy. This article will dig deeper into understanding female personalities, their way of thinking, and how they deal with emotions, emphasising the most impactful relationship, i.e., husband and wife.

Women often desire more open and honest communication from their male partners. They may wish for men to share their thoughts, feelings, and concerns more openly. According to the views expressed by Dash and Dash (2018), in professional settings, men tend to exhibit a straightforward communication style, quickly getting to the main point. In team meetings, they frequently take the initiative, being the first to express their thoughts and share opinions and ideas. However, men tend to take a back seat regarding feelings and emotions. Females are expected to understand that a man comes home after a tiring day and, therefore, must not demand time to communicate. A common problem with husbands and wives in long-distance relationships is either no communication or miscommunication, leading to misunderstandings, eventually causing divorce. However, this has become common with those who stay together as well. ‘Remembering all these things, listening to your entire day’s story is just not possible for me’ is often heard by men when their wives complain of not communicating. The same is true with friends; it is more accessible for men to share, but it becomes more complicated with a wife. This is because romantic relationships often have a higher level of emotional intimacy and vulnerability. Some men might find it challenging to open up about their deepest thoughts and feelings due to concerns about being judged or misunderstood. But, one needs to understand that until and unless one opens up the way for transparent two-way communication, how would the bond and trust develop, the two most essential aspects of a successful relationship? It is a two-way road that requires openness from both sides.

Moreover, some women feel that men can be less expressive or supportive emotionally. They may wish their partners to be more understanding, empathetic, and responsive to their emotional needs. Men need to understand that sometimes it is not the practical solution the wife is looking up to, but just a ‘It’s okay, everything would be alright’. All it takes for men is to acknowledge that a difference exists in how I think and my partner feels. She would not be looking for an answer: ‘It’s okay, just stop confronting your friend, your problem will be sorted’, but rather ‘It happens between friends. But I understand your perspective’. This would prevent the conversation from becoming a fight and help the female partner understand that someone besides her knows what she wants and desires. Women may sometimes feel that men could improve their listening skills. They may wish their partners would listen more attentively without immediately jumping into problem-solving. A little bit of support that makes her feel safe can go a long way in preventing all male complaints with their wives.

Furthermore, many women express their frustration about an uneven distribution of household chores. They may wish for their male partners to take on more responsibilities in terms of housework and childcare. It is important to note that this is often taken negatively as the woman demands an equal distribution of the chores, as 10-5 would be my job, and when you are back from the office, it is yours. What this would mean is the need for emotional support along with the help. This could include entering the kitchen when back from the office just to say, ‘You’ve worked very hard today. I appreciate the effort you put into making this house a home. I would freshen up and be back to set the table for dinner.’ Consciously putting in efforts to just set the plates, hang up a few clothes to dry, and help the child complete their homework, be it just a page, gives an emotional reassurance to the wife that I have a person who understands. If calculated, this would not take more than an investment of 30 minutes in the 1440 minutes of the day.

Although men have different ways of expressing their love for their partner, taking more initiative in planning special event activities would help create memorable experiences. Just as men seek recognition and admiration from their partners to uphold their self-worth, women feel more blessed and acknowledged when men make the effort to create beautiful memories. This may require a little dedication or may not be as time-consuming as it looks. All it needs is a call to tell her, ‘Whatever you’re doing, drop it, let’s have something outside’. This is also considered to be a beautiful memory. It does not have to be a visit to a foreign tourist destination. This could also be picking up her favourite pastry on the way home, sending a text from the office appreciating what was cooked a day earlier or asking your sister to arrange an event just to thank her. A woman may demand an expression of love emotionally. If all it would take is just a few minutes, why not try it rather than ranting in a complaining atmosphere at home because ‘Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try’?

In this competitive world, men need help to balance maintaining individual interests and spending quality time together. They may wish for partners who support their independence while fostering a strong connection. However, when an individual demands attention, it may not necessarily mean they are demanding more. Just as important it is for both men and women to find a work-life balance, so is the balance of My-time and our time important. A see-saw would fall onto one side if not balanced on both sides. Similarly, planning rather than procrastinating would benefit any successful relationship. Planning to spend time with one another would provide the opportunity to communicate, understand and love each other even more.

This shows that ‘it takes two hands to clap’. It is not anyone who is to be blamed for being less empathetic. All it needs is some time and understanding that when two people with different personalities stay together, live together, and smile together, there will be differences. Differences that need to be accepted, acknowledged, or considered need to be made regular rather than a reason for fights or divorce. Just a little bit of understanding on both sides, accepting each other for their unique personality, while at the same time taking small initiatives to do their little part in keeping their partner happy based on their likes and dislikes can work wonders in a relationship. Let’s take an oath today while we reach the end of this article to spend some quality time first with ourselves to ask ourselves, what is different in my wife/husband? What does my spouse expect from me? What are his/her principles of life that are different from mine? What better can I do to ensure it does not hurt my partner’s values or principles? Then, note down all the inputs and begin action with baby steps. Let’s do our best, and the Almighty will do the rest.

References

Dash, K and Dash. S. K. (2018). Influence of age, sex, qualification and experience on perception of employees on communication and attitude in Organizations. Research Journal of Social & Life Sciences, XXV: 20-29