Sana Rubiyana, who is a psychologist and Rational Emotive Cognitive Behaviour Therapist, asks this pertinent question in this short exploratory piece – do men need help, and if so, how?
How are their emotions denied, or mocked? How have they been told that their role is only to be a strong “provider”? How have they grown up watching their fathers betray their mothers? How have they grown up watching their fathers not knowing how to deal with their anger, so they became punching bags? How did they grow up watching their mother with no help at all?
Toxic masculinity isn’t something a man chooses, it’s the result of being wounded. It’s the result of not learning any emotional skills. It’s the result of actually not knowing how to emotionally connect. Men (like all humans) deeply want to be loved. They want connection and so many men are frustrated because they don’t have the skills to do that in healthy ways. A majority of men are lost. You can look at most adult men and see them as hurt little boys, trying to prove themselves, trying to feel good enough, trying subconsciously to get their father’s love and approval.
Statistically, men tend to fall into dangerous, self-destructive behaviours rather than seek professional help for their mental health. They may avoid or delay seeking treatment because of concerns about being treated differently, or due to perceptions that having a mental health issue diminishes their masculinity, embarrassment and shame.
Men need help. They need healing. They need encouragement.
Men need space for them to learn the skills they were never taught.
Men need empathy.
And most importantly men need to do their inner child healing and not at the expense of women.
Mam r u speaking about specific mental illness of men or majority of men face this problem?