Many conversations commence with declarations like ‘This is what I want’ or ‘This is my perspective.’ However, what we genuinely need is the truth. Truth transcends personal desires; it encompasses an unwavering commitment to what is right, whether it emanates from within us or from others. Sometimes, even those we consider adversaries may hold a grain of truth. Reflect on the story of the Jewish scholar who approached the Prophet Muhammad with concerns about shirk (associating partners with Allah). Instead of reacting defensively, the Prophet engaged in a constructive dialogue, inquiring ‘How?’ and seeking clarity.

Even when we’re tempted to respond negatively to someone, we should remind ourselves that no one deserves our disdain. Our purpose is not to engage in constant battles, proving our superiority to others. Rabia Basri explains why…
In a world where conversations have the extraordinary ability to mould our relationships and define our interactions, the words we choose to utter hold immense power. In this article, we delve into the profound significance of two seemingly innocent pronouns – ‘Me’ and ‘You’ – and explore how they can dramatically influence the dynamics of our relationships.
Do we ever pause to reflect on how frequently words like ‘I,’ ‘Me,’ ‘My,’ or ‘My experience’ slip into our conversations? Surprisingly, a study of 500 phone calls revealed that ‘Me’ was uttered a staggering 4000 times overall. This overuse of self-centred language can inadvertently convey a sense of pride and arrogance as if we are perpetually casting ourselves in the spotlight, overshadowing the essence of a meaningful conversation.
Consider this scenario: we record our conversations and discover an unsettling dependence on ‘Me’ and ‘I.’ This revelation can serve as a powerful wake-up call, prompting you to reconsider your communication style. Furthermore, some individuals take it a step further by habitually saying ‘We,’ a tendency notably prevalent among students of knowledge. Phrases like ‘We do this’ or ‘We are like that’ may seem inclusive but can come across as presumptuous.
Yet, even more perilous is the habit of pointing fingers and saying ‘You.’ Regardless of the veracity of your statement, this approach can inadvertently spoil the conversation. In the teachings of Islam, the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) exemplified a different path. When he detected a mistake, he addressed it in a general context, avoiding personal condemnation. Surah Abasa beautifully illustrates this approach with the words, ‘He frowned and he turned away,’ rather than ‘You frowned and you turned away.’ SubhanAllah.
Islam imparts invaluable lessons on humility and softness in our interactions. Blaming others with statements like ‘It’s your fault’ or resorting to scolding seldom leads to constructive change. Instead, forgiveness and pardon can pave the way for reconciliation. After all, who appreciates someone constantly tailing them, proclaiming, ‘You’re wrong, you’re wrong’? Such an approach rarely fosters personal growth.
Allah’s command to the Prophet was clear. It was to instruct His servants to speak not just ‘good’ but the very ‘best.’ This implies that we should strive for the cream of our speech. Even when we’re tempted to respond negatively to someone, we should remind ourselves that no one deserves our disdain. Our purpose is not to engage in constant battles, proving our superiority to others. True strength emerges from adhering to Allah’s path.
Many conversations commence with declarations like ‘This is what I want’ or ‘This is my perspective.’ However, what we genuinely need is the truth. Truth transcends personal desires; it encompasses an unwavering commitment to what is right, whether it emanates from within us or from others. Sometimes, even those we consider adversaries may hold a grain of truth. Reflect on the story of the Jewish scholar who approached the Prophet Muhammad with concerns about shirk (associating partners with Allah). Instead of reacting defensively, the Prophet engaged in a constructive dialogue, inquiring ‘How?’ and seeking clarity.
Our attitude toward individuals significantly influences our relationships. Frequently, we overlook the fact that others are observing us closely, and we fall into the detrimental habit of highlighting their flaws. This constant judgement and criticism can strain our relationships and erode the trust that underpins them.
In conclusion, our choice of words carries the immense potential to either fortify or fracture our relationships. By consciously removing the excess ‘Me’ and ‘You’ from our conversations and adopting a more humble and truth-seeking approach, we can foster more profound and meaningful connections with those around us. Always bear in mind that the power of words lies not just in what they convey but in how they shape the world around us.