About the Author : Dr. Debra Soh, a neuroscientist specialized in gender, sex and sex orientation. An international sex researcher. Lives in Toronto. Also, a science journalist who writes on science and politics of human sexuality and gender, free speech and censorship in academia. She calls herself in the book an “outspoken sexpert’.

What the book is all about :

The book consists of 298 pages + additional notes in the Kindle version. It tries to answer the question: Is our gender something we are born with, or are we conditioned by society? She uses a research-based approach to address the issue, unmasking popular misconceptions about the nature vs nurture debate and explores what it means to be a man or woman in today’s society from the context of the US and the UK. She talks about a wide range of issues such as gender dysphoria, gender–neutral parenting and the neuroscience of being transgender. She questions today’s accepted notion that gender is a social construct and a spectrum, and challenges the idea that there is no difference between how a male and female brains operate. She doesn’t believe that sex and gender are socially constructed. Instead, they are biological. She believes that being gender atypical is not an indication that someone is atypical. She warns parents that they can no longer trust that their child’s school will teach them a curriculum based on facts. Miseducating the next generation is what is going on in schools.

 

According to her the denial of sex differences is not necessary for gender equality. She questions feminist writers like Simone de Beauvoir who proclaimed in her book ‘The Second Sex’ that women were not born but made and Judith Butler who opined that gender is a performance in her book ‘Gender Trouble’ in 1990.

She says that if ‘’masculinity will remain the gold standard…”, “women will continue to be pressured to rid themselves of stereotypically female traits instead of challenging why being a feminine woman is worthy of ridicule.” She draws out a clear picture on the biological sex differences in the brain and concludes that “when you start denying basic Biology …the larger part about equality is lost.” She believes that it isn’t sexist to acknowledge sex differences. What’s sexist is assuming that women must be the same as men in order to be treated as equals. She questions the myth that there are more genders. She says “There is zero scientific evidence to suggest that any other gender exists”. You can come across many gender terms which are in vogue from this book like: gender neutral, gender free, agender, neutrois, aliagender, demiboy, demiguy, demiman, demigirl, demiwoman, girlflux, paragirl, boyflux, paraboy, librafeminine, libramasculine, genderfluid, amalgagender, FTX, MTX, moongender, puzzlegender, arborgender and so on. Celebrities’ publicity stunt in announcing they are nonbinary, the ‘born this way’ narrative because it came with greater social acceptance …all illustrate “…how ill conceived these theories pertaining to the gender spectrum are.”

 

Under the heading ‘The Conversation We’re Not Having’ she gives examples of those who changed their minds afterwards. The best example is that of James Shupe who identified himself as nonbinary and was taking cross sex hormones. He is the first person in the US to get changed his sex marker to ‘Unknown’ in his birth certificate. But later he returned to identify as male saying that his nonbinary identity stemmed from trauma while serving in the US military for almost 18 years. According to the author he was actually experiencing autogynephilia. After transition many regret and go for detransition which is more traumatic. Due to this many commit suicide but these data are hidden under the table and no one talks about them

Gender Dysphoria : The book talks about gender dysphoria in detail. The main reason given by the author is wanting to rid oneself from societal expectations around gender. Many feel dysphoric when they get periods as they don’t want to undergo that difficulty. The danger is in the accessibility of surgery and hormonal interventions. The many videos by these people create confusion and affect the youth. Another reason is the peer support. She says that many who regret after transition as they don’t feel fully comfortable, find it very difficult to bear with the side effects of surgery and hormones like back pain, rib and organ damage, breathing difficulties etc. So many of them end their life. Gender dysphoria according to her is a symptom of another mental health condition. She quotes a study from the American Journal of Psychiatry which says that 61% of patients presenting with gender dysphoria have another psychiatric disorder. Clinicians should work at healing the mind instead of the body. But they usually don’t do as failing to affirm their patients will lead to them being fired. Vulnerable young girls are being inculcated with this ideology. Transgender ideology has allowed young women the option to opt out of womanhood.

Children and Gender : 60 to 90% dysphoric children desist by puberty. But many children are given puberty blockers and crosssex hormones to halt ‘unwanted masculinization or feminization’. A 2019 study showed that extended counselling can be effective in resolving adolescents’ gender dysphoria. The author also cites the example of a parent of twins. They gave the twin boy typical toys of girls and the twin girl typical toys of boys to raise them gender atypical. But the children were found sneaking into each other’s room at night to play with their sextypical toys. The idea that masculinity and femininity are learned is one of the myths that won’t go away. But the reality according to her is: “A child will naturally gravitate toward whatever they’re interested in due to predetermined biological influences…” Over the last 10 years there is an abrupt increase in the number of gender clinic referrals for adolescent girls wanting to become boys. It’s a form of social contagion. It is due to researching gender dysphoria online or watching transitioning videos on social media where puberty blockers and cross sex hormones are glamorized. Also, there are other reasons. For example, a young girl expressed her wish to be a male. It was found out that she had been sexually abused by a couple of boys. And she said “Nobody would bother me now”. The author says that there are a number of reasons why a young woman may feel uncomfortable or dislike being female. But taking a child to a gender clinic would only make things worse.

The writer also voices against unisex public toilets and changing rooms. She says that recent statistics show that almost 90% of complaints about sexualt, voyeurism and harassment in UK swimming pools happen in unisex changing rooms as per Sunday Times September 2, 2018. One convict rapist and child molester in UK placed in women’s prison sexually assaulted four female inmates. She says that “Activists want everyone to be treated exactly the same. We should be compassionate but not to the point of overriding common sense.”

Sports: If the unisex policy is applied in sports, women will lose more as transgender men do not pose a threat to men’s sports. Fair opportunities for everyone shouldn’t come at the cost of prioritizing one group over another the author concludes.

The author also talks in detail about how politics and activism play a harmful role in unbiased research in the field. They are not funded and censorship policies are always in favour of clinicians and activists. Many of them do not get a chance to be published and some if at all got published are made to withdraw or make changes due to uproar.

The book is not an easy reading for a non-science background reader like me. Very often, I needed to pause to check the exact meaning of certain scientific terms. Even though, there are some arguments by the author that are not acceptable but quite natural for a scientist from that background, reading the book helps to arm oneself with the scientific facts that are required to address the increasing gender discourses among the youth today amidst us which deviate them from the real faith and Islamic ideology.