From parenthood to partnershipNavigating boundaries in married life @auramag
Category : Tips



It may sound odd – how can a mother make or break a child’s married life?
Both partners have to decide and live their lives. But as you see today, divorce cases are increasing daily. The reason behind this is the relationship between the couple and their compatibility. Their parents, especially the mother of either the girl or boy, play a crucial role in breaking or making a marriage.
For instance, it’s observed that as soon as a girl is married, her mother tries to be involved and interferes a lot in her married life. Even though she has left her mother’s home and started a new life with her husband in her in-laws’ place, she is still involved in personal affairs, straight from calling her and getting Information about simple things like what she had for breakfast or lunch or who prepared it, etc.
Without a second thought, the girl shares all Information with her mother and doesn’t try to keep secrets about her in-laws’ home or even matters relating to her husband. Frequent phone calls and chit-chatting make her husband irritated, which mostly becomes a reason for their breakup in the long run.

Also, if the girl’s husband or in-laws argue with her or if she has any small complaint, she immediately reveals the whole issue to her parents. Instead of convincing the girl and giving her a proper suggestion, today’s parents start telling her, “You are educated, you are beautiful, and your parents are still alive; no need to stay in your in-laws’ place, come back to us, we are ready to take care of you” – such statements encourage her to break the marriage. Many are breaking their relationship because of such simple issues and improper guidance.
On the contrary, when a girl is suffering a lot in her in-laws’ home, sometimes facing emotional and domestic violence, and she approaches her parents for a solution or suggestion, instead of supporting her and becoming a source of help, there are parents, especially mothers, who say, “Who will take care of you and your kids? What about our family’s respect? Not a big deal; you should adjust and stay with your husband and in-laws.” In such cases, many girls, when they don’t have a lending ear and a helping hand, either end their lives or continue to face abuse and domestic violence.
When it comes to a boy’s mother, many mothers treat their boy as a mama’s boy even after his marriage. They are involved in every matter, and because of their extra caring and pampering, the newlywed wife feels irritated and sometimes ignored by her husband, and discord starts between the couple.

Here are some tips for couples as well as parents for a better relationship:

1. Setting Boundaries:

It is necessary to set and establish boundaries between parents and married children. While parents can offer guidance and support, they should respect the autonomy and privacy of their adult children and refrain from interfering in their marital affairs.

2. Proper Communication:

Effective communication within families is the key to good relationships. Parents should foster open and honest dialogues with their children about marriage, including discussing expectations, boundaries, and how to handle challenges together.

3. Empathy and Understanding:

Parents should remember how to empathise with children with the experiences of their married children, acknowledging the complexities and difficulties they may face in their relationships. Parents should listen actively and provide emotional support without judgment so children can share their problems and feelings.

4. Encouraging Independence:

Parents need to give independence to adult children before and after marriage. Parents should empower their children to make their own decisions, take responsibility for their actions, and confidently navigate the challenges of married life.

5. Seeking Professional Help:

If parents struggle to navigate their role in their children’s marriages, they may benefit from seeking guidance from a therapist or counsellor. Professional support can help parents develop better communication and boundaries within the family dynamics.

Cultural and Generational Influences:

Parents should reflect on their upbringing and cultural beliefs and consider how these factors may influence their attitudes and behaviours toward their children’s marriages. Parents should also acknowledge cultural and generational differences and remember that these may impact relationships.

7. Lead by Example:

Parents should try to lead by example in their relationships, demonstrating healthy communication, mutual respect, and support. Children should also know that each relationship differs, and if their parents cannot lead by their example, it’s not necessary that everyone’s life would be the same.

8. Celebrating Achievements:

arents should try to celebrate their children’s milestones and achievements in marriage, big or small. Parents can strengthen their bond and foster a supportive environment for their children’s relationships by showing appreciation and pride in their children’s accomplishments.
So, dear moms, although your love is exceptional, when your kids are grown up and married, try to give them the space they need and help them build their own families.
Don’t involve and interfere in their matters. But always guide and support them with your love and suggestions when needed.
Always remember that your role as a parent is instrumental in breaking or making your child’s married life.

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